Joyful Reunion

There is a lot to say about my long anticipated return to the city and nearby village where I lived and worked in my twenties. Eydie, Brook and I each wrote about our own experiences of the fantastic week spent here...

I am glad we chose to return to this, my old Peace Corps post, Parakou, by bicycle from Ghana. It has added suspense, or emotional build-up, to the arrival here. It almost feels like a pilgrimage. Our arrival to this city as our final destination by bike offers us a sweet reward well earned after a good bit of West African adventure, travel hardship, and physical challenge.

Biking from N’dali to Parakou, I couldn’t believe how much the city sprawl stretched northward. I recognized nothing until we got near the city center. There were even multiple traffic signals. This was disappointing. How would I even find the house I shared with fellow volunteer Bob Shamble during my first months here? And the number of motorcycles – both private and zemidjan motorcycle taxis – was staggering. What a dangerous challenge it would have been driving my own motorcycle if I had had to contend with this back in the 80’s.

After settling into our hotel, bathing and changing, we set out on zemidjans to see if we could locate the home of my friend Roger. I felt like I found the right location, but the whole street front looked entirely different and nothing resembled his house. We inquired with some men, showed them a photo of Roger and eventually were escorted behind the storefronts into a compound that looked pretty familiar. Now I was quite excited. I asked a young woman there if she recognized the man in the photo. After a moment she said, “C’est Papa!” She directed us to a bar/restaurant where we could find him, and I surprised him there.

Roger recognized me immediately and it was an emotional, joyful reunion. He called my other best friend in Parakou, Matthieu, saying to come to that bar to meet someone. He did so right away and again I had the pleasure of surprising a close friend, unannounced, after a 22 year absence, followed by a very warm, wonderful welcome.

Roger and Matthieu and their family members proceeded to grace us over the next five days with extraordinary hospitality, kindness, and renewed friendship. It was deeply gratifying. They fed us, toured us, drove us wherever we wanted to go, and insisted on paying for everything.

Roger had a shirt and pants made for Brook out of traditional cloth woven at his workshop. Matthieu’s son had a friend in the city of Cotonou buy and deliver to Brook a jersey and shorts of the Benin national soccer team. After he learned of Brook’s new dream of learning to drive a motorcycle, Roger even arranged a lesson with the perfect teacher (his English speaking nephew), on a clutch-less vehicle, and in a very safe setting for Brook to realize his dream.

 Not long into our stay in Parakou, Roger drove us to Thian, where we managed to find my old house. The path to it had become a rough road. There were homes and a huge compound now along the road where there had been nothing but bush and a single-track path for my motorcycle during the rainy season.

Half of my house had been cut away to accommodate the widened road. The west side terrace had been allowed to disintegrate and the thatch awning that I had constructed was gone. Inside the house it was dark and smoky. The concrete floor had crumbled away. The walls showed no sign of the lime whitewash that a group of my friends helped me to paint on with brushes of bundled straw, in exchange for a group meal eaten while waiting for the walls to dry between coats.

The flamboyant shade tree that I was really looking forward to seeing in full glory had also been forfeited to the widened road. But the grafted mango trees I planted were huge and provided lots of shade to the western side of the house.

We found my old landlord living there. He called my two best friends from Thian, Gourma and Thomas, and they came over for a joyful reunion. I was delighted to see them again.

Back home I had gone through all my old slides looking for shots of people in Thian and Parakou and had prints made to bring along on our trip. This proved to be a fantastic move. I showed Gourma and Thomas the stack of photos, explaining that I wanted to give people pictures of themselves or family members now deceased or moved. I asked for help in finding these villagers and help with the French to Bariba translation that these two friends could provide.

The next day we returned to tour Thian with Gourma and Thomas, giving people photos of themselves or family members. This was great fun, watching their faces as they remembered me, as they welcomed me back, as they discovered that the picture I was now presenting to them as a gift was an image of themselves or a loved one as they looked long ago. It was also satisfying to have Eydie and Brook observe and participate in the unique, back and forth Bariba greeting ritual I have been describing to them for years.

I enjoyed discovering that nearly all Thian residents are still farming the same family plot of land, living much as they did when I lived here, but with lifestyle improvements. More homes are built of concrete instead of mud. The roofs are corrugated steel instead of straw. With the city having grown out to their village, they can all access some goods and services more easily. Some residents now own motorcycles, giving them quick access to all that a pretty big African city offers, including employment opportunities. Residents’ communication has been revolutionized with mobile phone technology and remarkably good service coverage. Thian will soon even have electricity as well.

These five days in Parakou and Benin have been wonderful, far exceeding my expectations; easily the highlight of the trip thus far.

It has been so very gratifying to reunite with such warm friends, to dive deep into the culture here again, to speak French, to relive my Peace Corps days in a microcosm, and to share it all with Eydie and Brook. What a pleasure!

- John

More on Our Village Experience (Eydie)

It's hard to believe that I made it to Parakou! Since I first met John 19 years ago, I've heard about his Peace Corps experiences and have gotten to know most of his closest American Peace Corps friends. It was exciting to finally replace my fantasy version of this part of the world with one that was grounded in reality. I've always wondered if I would really enjoy traveling in Benin, being a vegetarian, not speaking French, and being told that I should expect to suffer from effects of bad food and water. By the time we reached Parakou and Thian, all of my concerns had already been long put to rest and John's friends went over the top to make our visit comfortable and memorable.

So as not to be too redundant, I will try to only add details here that John hasn't included above. I'll try to express some of the feelings that this very fulfilling and emotional experience evoked...

Although Parakou has subsumed Thian, I think John was relieved that it still more or less functions as an independent village. He had one of the nicest houses in the village when he was living there. But that was no longer the case. Many of the other houses have been upgraded with more substantial building materials but none of them have running water or electricity. However, the outhouse that John had constructed according to architect and PCV Bob Shamble's design lives on.

The three of us enjoyed seeing the stately mango trees in the yard that John had planted as seedlings 20+ years ago. We later learned that the village has become known for its mango production as a result of the many seedlings that John planted with his village friends.

John was disappointed that the large tree in his backyard that housed his tree house had been cut down. He would sleep on the platform in the tree on some nights when it was too warm to sleep in his house. For this, we also later learned that he was well remembered by the villagers as the white guy that occasionally slept high in the tree.

It was heartwarming to witness John’s reunion with Gourma and Thomas. They were ecstatic to see him and couldn't believe that he was back especially since he hadn't kept in touch.

We rode our bicycles to the village the next morning. Of the three of us, I was the most attached to having a bicycle. I liked the freedom and independence that they enabled us. I was sad that it was the last time that we would ride them as we planned to give them to the children of John's friends, Gourma, Thomas, and Chabi.

John's idea to bring copies of pictures that he had taken of people in the village over 20 years ago was brilliant on a number of levels! The pictures helped to bridge the language barrier as most of the people speak Bariba. While in Peace Corps, John's friend, Matthieu, taught him Bariba but even way back then his vocabulary was limited. Today he could still properly participate in their elaborate greeting exchange but that was pretty much the extent of his Bariba. I thoroughly enjoyed watching them greet each other and see how the greeting varied depending on the relationship of greeters to each other.

Gourma is a natural leader and he did an amazing job taking us around to distribute John's photos. The pictures were a nice keepsake for the villagers. In some instances, they were a nice memory of a deceased relative. For the youngest generation, it may have been the first time that they had ever seen a deceased relative. It was entertaining to watch them look at pictures of themselves from 20 years ago. Many times the person wouldn’t recognize himself or herself in the picture. It was easier for them to identify other people. Since they don't have mirrors, I imagine that they don't really know what they look like.

When it was time to give the bikes away, kids came out of the woodwork. The three men determined which of their children would receive a bike. Not surprising that all three of the children were boys. In retrospect, I was disappointed that we hadn't specified that a girl be the recipient of at least one of the bikes. I felt like this was a great oversight given how very few females we have seen on bikes in Ghana, Togo and Benin. John did a beautiful job of rectifying the situation by making it very clear to Gourma that it is our intention for the bikes to be handed down to girls as well as boys first in the three families and eventually to other children in the village. He stressed the importance of treating girls equally, raising them with opportunities and encouragement, and sending them to school. My French is virtually nonexistent but you don't necessarily need to understand words to sense the mutual respect that John and Gourma have for each other. I left confident that to the best of his ability Gourma would execute our desires.

My Nishiki Colorado went to Chabi's son, Jacques. It turned out to be one of the best gifts I have ever given. Jacques didn't know how to ride a bike. He got on the bike, was stabilized by the help of several friends, and off he went. The smile on his face was priceless. Given the difficulty of his family and life situation, I hope that my bicycle will bring him some happiness.

Christine, Jacques’ mother, worked for John when he was a Peace Corps volunteer from 1986 to1989. She carried water to his house and did his laundry. Her husband, Chabi, learned how to make improved mud stoves from John. Chabi was one of the five French speakers that John was able to interact with in a more significant way. Sadly, we learned that one of those five men has passed away.

Christine and Chabi have 5 children, spanning around 20 years. During our second visit to Thian, it was clear that there was some tension between them. Chabi did not acknowledge her when she joined us. When we were giving our bicycles to a child of each of John's closest friends, Gourma, Thomas, and Chabi. Chabi wanted to take the bicycle to Parakou where he is now living. This caused a strong reaction from Christine and Gourma. Gourma made it clear in a kind but firm tone that the bicycle was for Christine and Chabi's son, Jacques, and it was not for Chabi.

At the end of our visit, we learned from Gourma that Chabi was not supporting Christine or the kids and that they were having difficulty getting enough food to eat. The two youngest kids were not living with her, one was living with priests nearby and the other one was living in another village with Christine's family. John and I decided that we would like to provide Christine with some meaningful assistance. With the help of Matthieu and Gourma, we met with Christine a couple of times to help her come up with ideas for some enterprise that we could kickstart. The sad news is that she is either so beaten down both physically and emotionally that she doesn't have the energy to start something new, or not educated enough to know how to begin. Despite her inability to provide us with any assurance that our financial assistance will do any more than support the family for several months, we went ahead and gave her a modest gift.

The most satisfying part of the experience was spending time with Matthieu and Gourma, brainstorming the best way to provide Christine with meaningful support. This experience brought Matthieu and Gourma closer together and it increased the mutual respect between John and both of these men. Gourma and Matthieu will continue to oversee the effort. It is possible that Christine will use the money to start making and selling petits gateaux (small cakes). It is also possible that Matthieu will be able to get Christine financial support from Chabi by accessing the legal system as he heads the district attorney’s office.

Our visits to Thian were very special. I gained a greater understanding of John's experience as a PCV and I gained greater respect and appreciation for him as a person. I was touched by his relationships with people in his village. I feel very fortunate that Brook and I were with John to share this reunion and to gain more insight into Beninese village life. It was a deeply emotional experience for me. I can't believe we waited so long to return.

John and I are about to celebrate our 15th anniversary and I feel very fortunate to have him as my lifelong partner.

- Eydie

Before we went to Dad’s village, I didn’t know what to expect. I couldn’t picture what it would be like when a village gets swallowed up by a city.

Meeting all of Dad’s friends has been fun. They were really nice – kind, friendly, generous. Roger is really funny. He arranged a lot of parties for us. Roger came out of nowhere with a seamstress and had me measured for clothes. I have never been measured for clothes before. She memorized all the measurements but I’m not sure that she got the legs quite right.

It was fun to watch the villagers getting pictures of themselves from 22 years ago. It was also great to give our bikes to the kids of Dad’s friends. It felt especially good to give the bike to Jacques, he was really happy and we also knew that his life at home wasn’t very good. But I felt awkward when people would speak to me in Bariba, the local language, and I didn’t know what they were saying. Dad would tell me what to say but it was uncomfortable pretending that I knew what they were saying when I didn’t.

- Brook